Across The Line
by mishimasChainsaw
Summary: -Specieswap AU- Irken Dib, son of Tallest Membrane, is stranded on Earth and must blend in with the humans along with his sister Gaz. However, a certain young, undercover agent refuses to let these outsiders impede on his plans for domination. A ZaDr tale like no other! (in progress)
1. Prologue

-Prologue-

Dib sat in his quarters, messing around with the various free-floating monitors and complex switchtoggles on his computer systems that were tracking many of the high-speed objects whizzing past the Massive. A beeping notification pulse reached his antennae and he whirled around, searching for its source. After locating the right screen he read the information, then got up abruptly and walked swiftly out the door towards the nearest teleportation pad.

"Destination?" the mothership asked.

"I need to go to Dad's lab."

"His Honourable Tallest is very bus-"

"This is urgent. I need to talk to him."

Without another word Dib was transported instantaneously to the enormous laboratory where his father spent his days. Hearing his son's arrival, Tallest Membrane paused what he was working on and walked over to the small Irken.

"Son! What brings you here?"

"I was checking on my astroidal analyzation receivers, and- "

"Oh Dib. I told you to get rid of those a long time ago. There is no practical use for them in the fields of real science!"

"But what if there are living organisms right outside our ship! Are you just going to let them float by?"

"Son, I've said this before and I'll say it again. There are no life forms anywhere near us! Aliens may exist, but they are billions of lightyears out of our reach. The only creatures you will encounter are fellow Irkens. There is nothing to worry about!"

"Yes there is." Dib brought out a portable data display and handed it to his father. "There is a series of small objects that will hit us in about four hours- "

"They are harmless," Membrane interjected, "My team discovered them last week."

"They are covered with a variety of peculiar micro-organisms. I didn't recognize their cellular structure, so I thought you would."

"Let's see..." murmured Membrane as he scrolled through the readings. "Oh my..."

"What's wrong?"

"The cells contain unusually large amounts of cesium and magnesium oxide...and they will hit the ship right next to the boosters. It'll blow up half the ship."

"We need to get everyone out then! Sound the alarms!"

"There aren't enough escape pods to fit everyone, we must evacuate to the far east side and cut off the extra fuel engines. It's our only hope. Go get your sister and meet me at the food court."

Dib ran out of the lab as his father's voice ran out over the intercom maintenance screens throughout the Massive. Teleporting up to the highest level, he heard the steadily growing hum as irkens reacted to the news. When he reached the top floor, it was crowded with irken scientists hustling about and preparing for evacuation. The mob was so thick he couldn't see the arcade room across the corridor. Some nearby chemists recognized the big head and the trench coat and escorted the Tallest's son across the hall. He thanked them and quickly found Gaz at her favourite fighting game booth.

"Come on, we have to meet Dad in the food court before it gets too crowded." Dib said, pulling her along.

"Why is everyone flipping out? He said we have at least three hours." The female irken slipped a pair of virtual reality goggles out of her Pak and placed them over her deep violet eyes. A see-through nanogel controller found its way to her three-clawed hands and she wasted no time in starting up another game.

"Because, Gaz, our ship is going to explode! There aren't any planets nearby, and there's no way we can go back to Irk! We're all going to be stranded here unless they can entirely repair the ship before we all get pulled out into empty space, assuming we all don't die in th- Are you even listening?"

"Nope."

Dib sighed. It was all hopeless. They should never have left Irk. All he wanted was to see the universe and all its mysteries unraveled. Was the spoochsucker that broke into their house still there? The bigfoot irken that dwelled in the Kayan forest too? Were the aliens he read about going to find his people on the Massive? In a few hours they were going to die, and he would never know.

They reached the food court and made their way through the crowd before sitting in front of the New Irk Fries booth. Tallest Membrane's voice ran out through the resonant intercoms, but Dib could barely hear his father over the din of twelve million Irkens preparing for doom. Pilots were arguing, smeets were crying, and a pair of teenage girls gossiped like there was no tomorrow. Gaz just sat there silently, fingers flying over her controller as she fought the final boss of Smeet Fighter 9.

Dib smiled. No matter what happened, his sister never faltered, never changed. Their home was about to be blasted apart and there she was, just sitting there playing video games. It was amazing, really, how nothing got to her.

Suddenly the lights flickered and dimmed, before blowing out and showering sparks down above the crowd of Irkens. Worried wails escaped the mouths of the citizens, but before Dib had time to complain he felt claws grip his limbs and pull him away. He looked over a few seconds later and saw Gaz beside him. It seemed they had been thrust onto a nearby teleporter by some guards.

"Did Dad tell you about this, too?"

"No, he only s-"

"Then shut up and pay attention. We're in the largest escape pod reserved for the Tallest. Why would they put us in here if Dad weren't as well?"

"Because there is no time for me to join you, Gaz. We no longer have four hours, the threat was accelerating too quickly so I changed the plans." The two young Irkens whirled around to face the information screen behind them, which now housed a transmission of Tallest Membrane.

"But what about everybody else?! You said we'd all be safe!" Shouted Dib indignantly.

"I was wrong. There's no guarantee everyone will survive. That's why I have to save you two, my precious family. The pod will disconnect in fifteen seconds, and land on the nearest inhabitable planet. Set up base there and wait for Irken contact. I will come back for you, just remember that I l-" The screen went blank as the transmission was cut short.

"DAD! Wait, no! Listen-" Dib trailed off as loud explosions and asteroid impacts sounded within the Massive. The pod detached itself from the mothership and raced away at multiple times the speed of light, having acquired a target for landing.

"Put your seatbelt on, Dib, before I hang you with it."

"Don't you care?! Our people, practically our entire race was on that ship! They're all going to die, and it's all my fault!"

"What good will whining do them? Put on the goddamn seatbelt so your huge head doesn't crack from the impact. You can help them by staying alive."

Gaz's realistic statement made Dib feel even worse. They were all alone, surrounded by the vast silent doom that is space, rushing towards an empty and unknown future. His pessimism would have continued, if not for his thoughts being interrupted by the unexpected crash-land as the pod landed on an unknown planet.


	2. Chapter 1

-Chapter 1-

A boy sits on his couch, feet up on the coffee table, loudly demanding food from his companion. He was on his laptop, fingers flying over the keys, hacking into the FBI's database.

"HA! Stupid 'Muricans! Their firewall offers as much protection as a re-used condom! Give me the waffles, Gir, and tell Zim how amaaaaazing his talents are."

"Sure thing, Mastah! Heeeeya go!" said the tiny robot, dumping an enormous plate of waffles on the table and chugging heartily from the bottle of maple syrup.

"...There's no soap in these, right? The last thing I need is to be home sick again, and arouse suspicion. One can never be too careful..."

"I love this show~" Gir sang, sitting happily upon the couch and ignoring his master's question.

Zim looked up from his computer and to the large TV that covered most of the opposite wall. It was blank. He gave a small 'hmmph', then went back to his work.

A loud crash just outside his door made him jump out of his skin, and, assuming the worst, he grabbed his gun from the side table. Holding it up to his face, pointing upwards, he made his way to the front door before kicking it open and brandishing his weapon towards the noise. What awaited him wasn't another person, however, it was instead the smoldering wreckage of some large and complicated machinery.

_Holy shit,_ he thought as he saw two bent, bleeding figures inside the smoking pod. Two bent, bleeding, and green figures. _This cannot be happening._

Zim put the gun inside his pocket and rushed towards the debris. Ripping away at the already broken glass, he called to his minion.

"GIR! Get over here! This obscene monstrosity attracts far too much attention. Help me bring them inside, and hide that huge _thing_ while you're at it! HURRY UP!"

He turned back to the wreckage, and dragged the shorter being out into his house. He went back and started to pick up the other one, when it groggily stirred and opened its eyes. Large, unbelievably deep blue eyes peered out onto Zim's face, but before he could speak Zim threw it to the ground, hitting its head and rendering it unconscious again.

Zim stood up, blew a lock of black hair out of his face, then stopped to say "Stupid filthy scum. It's too late for you _aliens_, Zim will not simply hand over the Earth to you pathetic wriggling aberrations. It is MINE to conquer! I will show you mercy now, but after today, you will not be spared. Don't say I didn't warn you." Then he picked up the last creature and hauled it inside before looking back to make sure his robot was doing its job. Once he was satisfied the ordeal was not seen, he shut the door loudly and dragged his subjects down to the basement.

A little while later, after securing the prisoners and deadbolting every door in the house, he flipped open his laptop and requested a call with his superiors. "Hurry up, you despicable pile of crap! Do you have any idea how urgent this is?!"

"What is so urgent, Zim?"

"Oh! Excuse me, Ĉ_iopova_ , I didn't realize it had connected."

"We're all very busy men here, so why don't you just get on with it?"

Onscreen were two very tall, bald men with smooth tawny skin who looked very much alike. They were wearing identical black business suits with ties. One man wore a red button-down shirt, the other, a shirt of deep purple.

"Yes, sir. Very well, then. Not ten minutes ago, an unusual aircraft landed outside my base. There were people inside."

"Oh yeah? What kind of people?" the purple one said in between mouthfuls of Doritos.

"Extraterrestrials, _Ĉiopova._ I detained them in the basement and ran some scans. Their DNA is like nothing I've ever seen before. There's only two of them, thankfully. They would be a serious threat to the operation if there were more."

"If what you say is true, this is very important. A scientific discovery this large could serve as useful leverage for the nation's government. Keep an eye on them and inform us of their movements."

"Yes, My _Ĉiopova_! Understood!" Zim saluted his leaders as they signed out. On the other end, Red and Purple were apprehensive and nervous.

"Aliens? Really, Red?"

"I know, it's crazy. We've known he was insane for a long time now. That's why he's over there, and not here." He got up from the couch and walked over to the balcony at the other end of the room.

"But what if he's right? What if it's rival gangs infiltrating our subordinates?"

"Yeah, you're right. Send recruitments just in case."

"Mastaaaah, the computer says he's awake!" Gir waddled into the living room, clutching a large rubber pig.

"Eh? Are you sure? Which one?"

"The big-headed one, silly! The other one's all limp and floppy like a pancake." The robot giggled and tore into the kitchen, searching the pantry for snacks yet again. It seemed all he ever did was eat and watch television. On a good day.

"I guess our tranquilizers didn't work on them. That's only to be expected, I suppose, considering they're not human." Zim got up from the couch and walked proudly over to the basement doors. He paused at the top of the stairs for a moment and said, "Zim will deal with the worm baby. The _Ĉiopova_ instructed us to keep an eye on them, and we will not let these hideous outsiders compromise the mission. Don't interrupt me when I'm interrogating them, and stay up here in case one of them tries to escape. Is that clear, Gir?"

"Yes, sir!"

_Good, he's getting better. About time he listens,_ Zim thought. He made his way down the staircase, deeper and deeper down into the bowels of the earth. There was nothing but heavy steel surrounding him as he descended mutely. Nothing but the rhythmic clanking of army boots on the metal steps. What awaited him at the end was an enormous steel door with an electronic lock and the booming voice of his prisoner. Despite the loud volume, the voice was distorted and muffled, though from injury, restraints or simply a foreign language, Zim did not know.

"Silence! I'm coming in already!" He shouted over the din, and was rewarded with a pause from his subject. Soon after, however, it resumed its irate babbling with renewed intensity, causing its captor to groan.

Typing in the 17-digit code with practiced accuracy, Zim brought his gloved palm down onto the handle, the cool metal reading his bare fingerprints via the hidden extra security scanners. The door unsealed with a hiss, and swung open with a deafening creak. Normally, Zim would have it oiled and kept said door in perfect condition like everything else he owned, but he found the noise intimidating. Loud, threatening, and unwavering, just like its owner.

He waltzed swiftly into the large chamber, spine straitened and chin elevated. Zim knew the way to deal with bogeys is to portray authority and ruthlessness. It's not like this is the first prisoner he'd held captive in these quarters, and it sure as hell wouldn't be the last.

Zim reached the opposite wall and stood in front of the being. He paused to observe it; He hadn't really taken the time to inspect either of the creatures before now. He looked up and was taken aback by what he saw.

The beast-thing was flat against the wall, with thick latches lifting up its long slender arms. Smooth poreless skin, the colour of light mint, covered its lithe frame, enveloping a round tight abdomen covered in shreds of navy and black fabric. Tapered legs ending in heavy black boots made the figure seem taller than it really was, only a bit more than Zim's own (shorter than normal) height. The being lifted its smooth bald head as Zim approached, giving way to long black antennae and huge mystical eyes, sparkling like the midnight sky.

"Holy shit, your head is huge. Is that normal for your species, or are you just a deformed reject?"

It lost the look of burning fury on its face, replacing it with a thoughtful and curious one. It seemed to be studying Zim's speech, trying to decipher the terrestrial prose. It opened its mouth to say something unintelligible, then cleared its throat and tried again.

"What are you?"

_Ah, so it was translating. It speaks English now. So intelligent life does exist outside our pathetic rock. Interesting._

"I am ZIM! Fear me!"

"You're...Zim? What is a, er, zim?"

"It's my name, you revolting cretin. You know, a title given to be called by?"

"I know what a name is. I have one too, you know."

"I don't care!"

"It's Dib."

Zim smirked. What a pathetically useless name! Oh well, at least it fits its owner.

"Yes, yes, that's fascinating, Dib-thing. Now tell me what the FUCK YOU'RE DOING HERE!"

"Are all aliens as bad-tempered as you?"

"SILENCE! Answer the question, fool!"

The Dib-beast stopped and put a different expression on his face. This time, one of shock and realization.

"Oh my..."

"Don't you ignore me, worm baby!"

"You're an alien! A real ALIEN! I'm talking to an alien life form, here in its base, on this foreign planet! They DO exist! I WAS RIGHT!"

"You are my prisoner! You're damn right you're in my base! You made a huge fucking bloody mess outside, leaving Zim to pick up your ship's remains and drag your worthless smelly asses in here! Are you TRYING to get captured, cause you're doing a f-" Zim's ranting was interrupted by a coarse interjection from the Dib.

"Where is Gaz."

"What?"

"My sister, Gaz!"

"What?"

"Don't play dumb, you twisted space fiend! She was with me in the ship! I know you've got her here-"

"What?"

The Dib-thing thrashed against his bonds wildly, eyes flashing dangerously down on Zim. His tough gaze pierced right through the teen and made his skin burn.

He gave a dangerously low growl before hissing out a single threatening sentence. "Where. Is. My. _Sister!"_

"You mean the other stink-beast bleeding all over Zim's immaculate floors?"

The Dib thrashed yet again, ready to rip apart the unfortunate one that hurt his sister.

"Relax, worm-child. Your sibling is receiving treatment in another room. I can't very well let such a valuable discovery die on me, now can I?"

Dib narrowed his eyes and tilted his green head to one side curiously. "What do you mean, discovery? What does it matter if we live or die? Why do you...care?"

Zim turned away and walked ever so slowly to the wall opposite Dib, his back facing the captured specimen. "Truthfully, Zim does not care. I am merely acting on orders. If it were up to me, I'd light you both on fire and fling you back into space so that you may not foil Zim's incredible plans." He brought a hand up to stroke at the thick, shiny pipes and wires coiling every which way in his base. He could see the Dib's reflection in every bend and twist of the metal. "What reason would you come to this filthy planet other than to snatch it away from me?!"

"You? Snatch it away from _you_? You don't rule this place! I assume that if you did, I would be surrounded by guards right now, not to mention this dungeon would be a lot bigger."

"LIES! I will rule this filthy place, and there's nothing you can do to stop it! I am taking this land for my superiors, and you're going to rot in hell just like all the other pathetic creatures on this damned planet!"

"I'd like to see you-" His sentence was cut short by a fire extinguisher launched at his head. Falling limp, a slow trickle of blood dripped silently down the contours of his angular face, barely making a sound as it trailed off his chin onto the cold hard floor.

Putting a needle in his arm for good measure, Zim used up the last of his sedatives on the now unconscious prisoner. Discarding the empty syringe, he walked towards the door leading upstairs, pausing for a moment to observe the Dib. The alien's words ringed oddly in his head, resonating in ways Zim didn't like. _This is the start of something._ He narrowed his eyes in dislike as he climbed the first step leading upstairs.

_From now on, nothing will be the same._


	3. Chapter 2

-Chapter 2-

When Dib came to, he found himself on a cold hard surface with a throbbing pak and an aching skull. Groaning, he tried to pull himself semi-upright but became suddenly aware of the blinding light directly above him. Throwing his arms up to shade his eyes proved futile as, due to lack of balance, he proceeded to fall from the square surface onto the smooth flat floor. _That's weird. Was I on a...lab table?_ Disjointed thoughts bounced around uncomfortably in his head. _What happened? Zim...GAZ!_

He got up quickly from the floor and looked around. There were multiple doors leading out of this lab, so he dashed over to the nearest one, pounding on the metal. "GAZ! WHERE ARE YOU?! CAN YOU HEAR ME? GAZ!"

"I'm right here. Calm the hell down, your screaming is worse than claws on a darkscreen."

Dib whirled around, eyes wide when he saw his sister unharmed. Faraway objects looked blurry and faded, but he could see Gaz clearly enough. "You're okay? How are you not hurt from the crash?" He went up to her and tried to check her pak but was quickly swatted away.

"I was, but whatever that douchey guy gave me sped up my pak's regenerative cells. I woke up, broke his neck, got you out and set up base. If you're well enough you can go set up the computer."

"Wait, Zim? You broke his _neck?_"

"How is it that you always forget our yearly family night but can remember the name of some random earthling you saw for less than ten minutes?"

"I _always_ remember important names." Gaz rolled her eyes at this comment.

"He is not important. He's just a random earthenoid blessed with low intelligence. No different from the rest."

Dib shook his head slowly. "I don't think he's the same as the other earthlings, at least I hope not. He sounded pretty crazy to me. If they're all like him then we won't live long enough to-Dad!"

Gaz narrowed her eyes in irritation for the seventeenth time today. "We won't live long enough to Dad?" She asked challengingly.

"What's the thing Dad told us? He said to set up base and wait for contact, right? Blend in with the creatures so we can stay alive...This is our mission, Gaz. Because he's the Tallest, we have no choice but to do as he says. My pak is already telling me to follow through, even though I know everyone's probably dead and not gonna call us, ever."

"Then you should listen to your pak. It's probably the only thing on this planet that doesn't want to hurt you."

"Thanks a lot, Gaz. Good to know how appreciated I am."

She picked up a couple of holographic watches from a nearby lab bench and tossed one to Dib. "I don't know if it was from the crash or the asshole, but your eyes are a little screwed up. We can't order the equipment needed to fix that with the systems down, but you should be fine. If it turns out to be a problem we can experiment with some shitty earth methods, but first things first. Now that you're up you can get to work. I dealt with the base part, you can do the computer and research part since you love that stuff so much. The house computer needs to be installed and we need disguises, among other things. I'm taking a break."

He strapped it on his wrist and flicked through the hologram menu, opting for the most secure one. _Let's see...earthlings are bipedal, upright, they've got light brown skin and weird white eyes...dark fur on the top of their heads, strange extra organs on their faces..._

Once the basic characteristics had been installed, several different three-dimensional previews were projected in the air above his arm. The title box at the top was labeled 'Human'. Dib frowned, confused.

"Zim is the only earthenoid-" He froze and corrected himself. "_Human_- we've seen, so that's not much basis to build on. Still, these look nothing like him. Won't we stand out too much if we look too different from the rest?"

He was answered by silence. You'd think that after years of talking to himself he'd clue in as to when no one was around. No such luck.

Then Dib realized he still needed that computer installed. Once that was done, everything else could just take care of itself. He quickly tapped the mechanism strapped to his wrist, selected the first holographic option available, not even sparing a glance at it. "Whatever, I can always change it later."

It took a while to find, but the cartridge for the computer was in a small box deep within the depths of the lab. His new home was much larger than Dib expected; all these separate laboratories and chambers interconnected by elevators and teleporters and thick round hallways, not counting the house above the ground.

On the concave violet wall above said box was a strategically placed port for the cartridge. Dib picked up the round disc and held it in front of the port as it expanded into a drill-like screw. Feeling it vibrate, he released his grip and watched it shoot into the wall, twisting as it connected with the titanium hole. A startup command sequence began playing and Dib started walking back to the main lab.

On his way, the computer began questioning Dib for the essential information, a per usual protocol.

"Location?"

"The planet Earth."

"Mission?"

"Await contact from Irken Tallest Membrane."

"Identify all administrators and personal security sequences."

"Novitiate Dib, pak ID number 6-1-7-7-15-20M. Novitiate Gaz, pak ID number 6-21-3-11-25-21F. That is all."

"Identities verified and DNA memorized. What are your immediate orders?"

Having reached the elevator, Dib paused before entering the complex cylindrical pod. After a quick moment of thought, he barked out his wishes. "Finish setting up the base. Make sure everything is fully functional and notify me of any abnormalities. Also, check our databases for all knowledge of humans. Present your findings to me as soon as possible."

"Yes, sir."

The elevator shot upwards steadily as it climbed through the earth. Reaching the penultimate floor, The door slid open with a _ding_ and cool fresh air hit Dib's face. He smiled. Everything working correctly, so far.

"Hey Gaz," he exclaimed, stepping out of the pod. "What're we gonna do about food? I didn't see any-"

"The house came with some junk Dad invented. It makes food on its own. Now I don't have to worry about you taking my last soda anymore."

He blinked. "Oh, okay then. So what are we supposed to do in the meantime? Won't the humans find it strange that there's another house in this area but no neighbours bustling about?"

"You overestimate their intelligence. But I guess you do have sort of a point. In order to blend in we need firsthand experience on interacting with them. People our age go to these mental training facilities most of the time; we can start there."

A screen unfolded from the ceiling, suspended by two thin knobbly handles bent at intersecting angles. "The information you requested, sir," announced the computer as overlapping windows clouded the screen. Navigating through the files, Dib stopped to study a map of the city.

"Hey Gaz, there's one of those educational buildings not too far from here. If we can hack their systems and enroll ourselves, we can start tomorrow! Or today, rather." He corrected, glancing at the menu bar onscreen. It was past midnight.

Gaz, who had been laying on the couch the entire time, rolled over and stretched. "Whatever. The sooner the better, I guess. Now get out of here, I want to sleep."

_That's odd._ Dib grabbed a bag of snacks from the kitchen counter and walked back towards the elevator. _Irkens don't normally need sleep. It must have been whatever Zim gave her._

Barely noticing his rapid descent, Dib gave a grimace and nervously pulled an antenna. "Stupid jerk. Even if he did potentially save Gaz's life and keep us alive...dammit. My guilty conscience won't let it go. I should be thankful, but...he knows about us. It's too dangerous." Stepping into the main lab once more, he sat down in the floating swivel chair before facing the giant screen before him. "He can't live that far away; If I see him again, I'll just wipe his memory. Then I'll never have to deal with it again. Yeah. Sounds good," he proclaimed, nodding. Turning to face the main computer he set about hacking the school's records. It never once occured to him to cloak the base from sattelites or sweep for foreign monitoring devices. Most unlike Dib.

A sharp jab to the ribs awoke Dib from his frantic slumber. "Get your ass up. We're going to be late."

Eyes snapped open for a jarring millisecond before the rest of the irken abruptly followed. "Mmmm...When did I fall asleep...?" Yawning, he stepped out of the chair and went to grab a spare coat.

"How should I know? Hey, don't forget those glasses. They came with your disguise and you'll need them to see."

He looked back onto the table where a strange device lay sitting. Twin circular translucent windows encased by thin metal, with prongs sticking backwards into slight hooks. He looked at Gaz gingerly as she rolled her eyes and motioned how to put them on. Fitting snugly against the flat sides of his head, he pushed them up with a claw. _These probably look really stupid without those weird bumps on their heads._

It was still early in the morning, Dib noted, when they set out the door headed towards the school. They were far from alone, however, as many others exited houses and walked along the sidewalk, presumably heading towards the same destination.

"Look, Gaz," Dib whispered excitedly, "They're all different colours!" She gave him a strange look. "Oh come on, this is fascinating! All I've ever seen is green, green, green, and here it's white, brown, black-" A pale hand enclosing his mouth interrupted his delighted rambling.

"Be quiet. People are staring. From the looks of it, you're offending them _and_ making us look suspicious at the same time. Just keep your mouth shut for five more minutes. Can you handle that?"

A slow nod and she removed her hand, shoved her arms in the pockets of her new black coat and kept walking faster. The angular curls of her purple hair resembled her now-hidden antennae, and the colour reflecting those of her unmasked eyes. Dib smiled. There was something so amusing about this planet, this mission, this secret, this new life. He was so wrapped up in his pleasant thoughts that he barely noticed when Gaz led him up cracked concrete stairs into the dented doors of the school.

"Oh, we're here already! How are we gonna know which section to go into?"

"While you were asleep I downloaded all the information into our paks. It should be telling you where your classes are."

"Why were you performing surgery on me while I'm asleep?!"

"Because it makes you vulnerable." With that, she stalked off into a different hallway, leaving him conveniently in from of his first period classroom. Shuddering, he turned the rusted knob and entered.

As soon as he opened the door, he could tell it was a mistake. The heavy air destroyed his previous good mood, instilling anxiety and suspicion. So many eyes turning, turning, stopping, directly at his face, taking him in. He could practically feel their judgements and questions. Before he lost his nerve, he went to the oldest human in the room (his new teacher), introduced himself cautiously and took a seat in the front row next to the window. _At least I can observe from here. It doesn't seem like I'll be learning anything particularly pleasant from these humans. For now all I can do is wait._

And wait he did. For three hours until anything of note happened. When destiny struck, he certainly wasn't ready for it.


	4. Chapter 3

-Chapter 3-

Zim woke up to see his robot sitting on him, eyes wide and mouth thin set. "Gir! Get off me this instant!"

Nothing. Neither moved for a fraction of a second before a bellowing screech escaped the android's mouth.

"You've been sleeping for a long while, Mastah! You don't look so good."

He tried sitting up. It didn't work. Now he was starting to panic. "Why can't I move?"

He was answered by red eyes and a drawn-out phrase. "It looks like your spine got snaaaapped!"

"Then FIX IT! Zim is of no use lying uselessly on the ground! So much to do, so much to buuurn."

A sharp pain near his jugular made him tense. An empty injector lay on the floor near Gir's left hand. That tiny robot could be awfully quick when he wanted to be. As the feeling returned to his body, Zim breathed a heavy sigh and started to calm down.

Zim pushed Gir off his chest and sat up stiffly. Come to think of it, he didn't feel that great. He raised a hand to soothe his aching head and felt blood.

"Gir, what did you do? I don't remember being injured, nor falling asleep! Clearly something knocked me out. What happened?!"

"Weeell, the green lady came when you weren't looking, and she gave you a hug and you started sleeping and she went downstairs and brought the big head boy and they left!"

"YOU LET THE PRISONERS ESCAPE? AGAIN?!"

"And then she came back and went in the broken shippy thingy and got a pretty box and then it sploded! And she left again."

"You let them escape AND destroy the evidence?! Why you wretched little-" Zim suddenly noticed the clock on the wall. 9:04.

"Shit, I'm late! Why didn't you wake me before? I've been gone three days already this week, they're going to notice something for sure!" He made a mad dash for the stairs, muttering anxiously. "_Must shower, so filthy. Blood in my hair will not do. Must be quick, must hurry. The mission will go on. The mission. Must get to school."_

No less than two hours later he was out of the bathroom and storming outside. Keeping up appearances by attending school is important of course, but not as important as perfect hair.

Finally reaching the classroom, he dropped down into his usual seat (front row, five across, closest to the door) and ceremoniously dumped his shit down next to him. Breathing a sigh of relief, Zim relaxed a bit before turning to the teacher. She seemed to be shouting some blabber at him. Blinking slowly, he waited patiently until she lost interest and stalked away towards the chalkboard. Already bored, he let his head fall to the desk. It was then that he noticed there was an anomaly in the usual student body.

_Wait a minute. Something isn't right. I don't know that bitch. Must be a new student!_

At the other end of the classroom, sitting right in front of the teacher's desk. A pale boy who looked calm but nervous. Messy black hair with large brown eyes and big glasses. Average height.

_He's pretty cute. Too bad he's probably a pretentious douchebag like all the rest,_ Zim thought. _If not, maybe he can be a slave instead of being burned to crisp like everyone else._ He turned away and gave it no more thought.

As the minutes passed he became aware that he was being watched. A heavy presence infected the air, hanging thick and making it hard to breathe. Not wanting to do anything noticeable, Zim slowly looked over from the corner of his eye to see the new kid gaping at him with wide eyes and shaking hands.

_Ugh, he noticed me_, Zim inwardly groaned. _If he tries to talk to me I'm gonna shoot something. Zim may be amazing but annoying admirers are... annoying._

Something sharp stabbed into his back, causing him to breathe a quiet "Fuck!" and whirl around to face the adversary. _Keef._

"Hey Zim, look at the new kid!" The ginger-haired boy whispered excitedly. "I think he likes you. What if he became our other Bestest Friend? That would be so great!"

Zim hissed in response, irritated further. "Keef. Shut. The. Hell. Up. Don't talk to me."

He slammed a hand over his mouth, bright eyes going wide and light eyebrows shooting up and getting lost in his red bangs. "Oh, right! The teacher's talking. Sorry, buddy, don't want to get you in trouble."

"Keef! Will you be QUIET?!" A dark shadow loomed over his desk as the teacher's hunched form stood in front of the boy. The change in location was so fast it could pass as teleportation.

"I-I'm sorry, Ms. Bitters! I promise I won't-"

"Too late! To the underground classrooms, NOW!" The floor beneath him gave way and the desk fell down into oblivion, dragging the terrified boy down into the mighty doom below. A very faint crash could be heard as the floor closed once more, flames licking just below the entrance.

_So there is a god._ Zim leaned back and gave a small sigh of relief. Thanking whoever was up there, he turned to the front of the classroom and saw a load of homework written on the board. He shrugged and put his binders away; he didn't need algebra. In his line of work all he needed to excel at was civics, english, phys ed and science; screw everything else. Hearing the bell ring for lunch, he bolted to the door and swiftly marched down the hall towards his locker.

"Hey, wait up! Zim!"

Narrowing his eyes in disgust, he turned his head to find someone following him. It was the new kid. He walked faster, weaving in and out of the tightly packed crowd of students.

"Come on, I just want to talk!" He could hear the skinny teen stumbling through the hall and bumping into people. Footsteps grew louder as the boy approached him, reaching out to grab his sleeve when Zim whirled around and glared at him.

"I don't know how you know me or what you want from me so I suggest you get the fuck out of here before I rectify you. This is your only warning." He gazed harshly into the slightly taller boy's eyes, daring him to respond.

"Don't you-" The slime-child's big eyes enlarged even more, the dawn of realization flashing briefly before his retinas. "Oh I get it; you can't recognize me, can you?"

"Am I supposed to?" His voice had not lost its dark edge.

"Yeah, just...come on." Noticing the thick mob around them, he grabbed Zim's arm, pulling them both into a nearby empty stairwell. Closing the door, he took a quick breath before fiddling with his wristwatch for a second. His body flickered and glitched for a jarring millisecond, milky skin dissolving into green. After a split second the false form arose once more, concealing the foreigner beneath.

Zim spat out a single malicious word, face twisted in rage. "_You._"

"Me."

"How did you find Zim."

"It's not like I came looking for you or anything. I'm just as surprised as you are."

"You were lucky to escape my wrath once. I won't let that happen again."

"What? We're not-"

"Shut up, you insolent little fuck! Now tell me, as an invading soldier on a mission, why would you reveal yourself to me, the enemy? If you hadn't approached me, I may never have suspected you of being anything different than what you appear to be. Why would you be so stupid and careless as to unmask yourself in front of Zim?"

"I'm not a 'soldier on a mission'! And even if I were, why the hell do you care? My life has nothing to do with you!"

Zim stood straight, defensive, holding his ground subconsciously. Lowering his head slightly, he focused both eyes on the Dib's and unclenched his fist.

"Oh yes it does."

"Oh, this should be good."

Getting right in his face, Zim scrutinized the other, pointing a long thin finger tipped in black for dramatic purposes.

"I don't know your pathetic little plan but I'm gonna fucking tell you one thing: No one takes what is Zim's."

"What're y-"

"I'm not done yet, dirt child! You will never be able to take over this planet. This here nation is mine to invade, the rest will fall shortly after. You're far too late; my leaders were here planning conquest long before any of your filthy race cared about Earth, so I suggest you sit back and reconsider your life purpose somewhere far away from this galaxy."

"But I never said anything about conquering this planet." They both blinked stupidly at this.

"Eh, well it's written all over your green-ass face! Zim's genius brain doesn't need any feeble declarations to figure out your plans!"

With that he turned away, face drawn in a proud pout and walked out the door behind the stairs leading outside. Dib was left standing there, confused. "It's not the end of the day yet, where the hell does he think he's going?"


	5. Chapter 4

-Chapter 4-

_Dammit, don't run away so quickly! There's a point to all this, you know__!_ Dib thought as he chased after Zim. The teen was walking quickly through the parking lot, backpack in hand, showing no sign of turning back.

"So you arrived three hours late just to skip? What was the point of coming at all?"

"Silence, hideous worm-child. Do not question Zim's logic."

"Logic my ass. I didn't show you just to say hi and be brushed off you know. I've got something to say."

"Then spit it out and get out of my face."

"Thank you."

Zim stopped, incredulous. "What?"

"I said thank you."

"Well you should be thankful! Not everyone gets to be locked up and beaten by Z-"

"No. For taking me inside, away from prying eyes, and saving my sister. Without you interfering we probably would have just bled to death out on the path before being taken by the authorities."

The boy's face was deliciously contorted with rage. _This is a proud one, never willing to admit to helping the enemy. Heh. This is fun._

Zim snarled like a cornered hound and spat out a venomous response. "As if I would ever do anything to assist _you._ Don't flatter yourself. It was a benefit to me and my mission so I did it. Simple as that."

"Oh really? Well, I had assumed you did it out of the goodness of your cardiac organ and would want a little something in return, but if that's the case..."

"What? A gift for _Zim_? Gimme!"

"Accompany me to my house. It's waiting for you there."

His face flushed, manicured eyebrows drawn together. _Deciding whether or not to trust me._

"No, it's not that." Seems like dib said that part aloud. Oops.

The human perked up and looked at him with wide, sparkling eyes. "What could it possibly be? Some futuristic doomsday machine? A zero-gravity iron maiden? An electric chair that runs on nachos? A giant fire-breathing shark?!"

"What are you even saying?"

"Silence! Since you're not of Earth you must have shitloads of deadly weaponry, yes? For fighting other alien species. Wow, I bet you have loads of fun taking over other's planets and crushing..."

_He really is insane. I can't believe this,_ Dib thought. He was still talking, seemingly oblivious to the fact Dib had tuned out.

"...Actually, Zim, I'm not an Invader. I'm still in training, so I haven't really had the chance to meet someone of another kind, most of my people haven't. We didn't know that other species inhabited nearby planets."

"Eh? But you're going to try to enslave all of humanity and take the planet for yourself, yes?"

Dib turned onto the street where his base lay inconspicuous. Gaz did a good job of making it look identical to the surrounding homes. "No. I never said that."

"What the fuck are you doing here then? Without the rest of your slimy little-"

"Irkens."

"What?"

"Irkens, Zim. My race is called Irkens. You are human, I am irken."

"I see." He steepled his slender tawny fingers, sporting a creepy smile.

Giving a suspicious look over his shoulder, Dib walked up the steps and unlocked the front door.

"Don't try anything, Earth Boy. Stay out here while I get your stuff."

"But of course," a smooth voice replied. Dib shut the door and took the elevator down to the labs swiftly.

_Was this really a good idea? He now knows where I live._ Said the insecure part of his brain. A few seconds later the doors opened and he stepped out into the main lab.

"Computer, bring me the oblivion serum and a sterile needle."

"You could have just asked for it upstairs and saved yourself the trouble of coming down here."

"No, he might have been looking through the window or something. Even if his memory is going to be wiped, the less he knows the better."

A floating tray materialized in front of Dib, and on it the requested items. Filling the syringe (twelve cc's) and checking the concentration (95% pure) he entered the lift once more and ascended to the living room. Holding the 'gift' securely behind his back, he exited the circular structure to find Zim sprawled out on his couch, remote control in hand.

"How did you-"

"You left the door unlocked. Not very smart, Dib-worm, especially for someone trying to remain incognito."

"I thought I told you to-"

"Like I give two fucks about what you tell me. I don't take orders from lowly drones like you."

Dib had two options, argue or approach him slowly and inject him in the neck. He opted for both.

"_Drones? _Is that what you think I am, a worthless servant? What makes you so high and mighty, what gives you the right to diss me?"

"I am Zim. I do what I want." He still hadn't looked at Dib. Engrossed by the television, he was channel-surfing as if his life depended on it. "You know, for a high-tech race your programs aren't much better than ours. It's amazing you still get satellite reception, though."

_Almost there._ He creeped slowly by the couch. One more step. Now he was close enough to touch him. Dib removed his arms from his back and raised the needle slightly, slightly, the height of his sternum, then lunged down suddenly in a blur, aiming for Zim's exposed neck.

His target was gone, rolled off the couch, then scrambled up to grip Dib's arm, twisting the camouflaged wrist. A blunt kick to the ribs sent Zim flying, hitting the wall and falling to his knees. Getting up quickly, he looked for something to throw before being slammed into the wall yet again, trapped by triple pak legs. A fourth was raised above his temple, lasers warming up.

"Goodbye Zim. Nice knowing you, not really."

The human was breathing heavily, glaring up at Dib with piercing red eyes. "What a joke. You think you can best me? You think you've won? Think again, bitch. I'm going to invade this land, I'm going to rip it to shreds and I'm going to subjugate everyone in this pathetic filthy nation. Starting. With. _You._"

"You'll never get away with it. I'll see to that right now."

Laser fully charged, his pak informed him. Target acquired and locked on. Waiting for confirmation.

"I'd like to see you try, irken."

_Fire._


End file.
